Bayko Baron


Comte Arnaud Saisir and his Comtesse, Lavine, await the royal visit that will seal the Comte's status

Their majesties, Louis XIII and his Queen, Anne of Austria

Her Majesty is so taken with Comte Arnaud's little 'pied a'terre' that she persuades Louis to linger for lunch

Bayko Baron Richeilie conspires

Armand Duplessis, Cardinal Duc D'Richelieu summons his agents, Roquefort - the Cardinal's living cheese, and Milady D'Lateautumn. Their mission - to prevent Her Majesty finding that her fabulous, fashionable, first-French, finely filigreed food fork has been foully filched as a love favour by her fiendishly fanatic secret fan - himself! Phew! The fork must be returned before his theft is uncovered. 

Bayko Baron The coach in the stables

The royal coach arrives at the stables - Le Chevalier D'Artagnan, known to his friends as 'Alice' is sent after it to find the Queen's fork, which seems to be missing!

D'Artagnan's man, Planchet, takes the opportunity to ease his 'little problem'

Alice finds his way to the stables blocked by the usual enemies - Planchet takes care of the ambush

D'Artagnan's comrades, Pathos and Bathos, exchange pleasantries with some passing Cardinal's men. The Reverend Ezekiel 'Fear The Lord and Avoid Dueteronomy' Clapnose attempts to calm things down.

The moment of truth - Alice comes blade to blade with Roquefort, Bathos and Pathos (Aramis is away doing an advert for his perfume) take care of the 'help'. Ezekiel Clapnose stands by, scorecard in hand, to rate performance. Naturally the sound of swordplay draws the Royal party above - giving Milady D'Lateautumn the opportunity to return the filched fork un-noticed.

D'Artagnan - sorry, Alice, reaches the royal table, only to discover the fork is no longer missing - Curses! His big moment foiled! His triumph all for nought!

From behind the cover of her masque, and the bulk of her Cardinal, Milady eyes the gallant pillock and decides he might be worth.... cultivating!

Delighted with the unexpected entertainment the Royals take their leave, Comte Arnaud at the King's side, Lady Lavine swapping suppository recipes with Queen Anne, while Dribble the Doberman siezes the chance to keep Alice, proud in his newly granted musketeer's tabard, from overheating.

And so we say 'Bon Chance!' and 'Au Revoir' to Chateau Saisir, Comte Arnaud and the XVIIth Century.



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