The exploits of the Chinless family and Sir Arnold Grasp


Chinless Wonderers

Sir Arnold joins the big league

Nemandible Parva is a ghost town today as supporters stream to the first Chinless Wonderers match since Sir Arnold Grasp took over.

Players and WAGS are waved through as the fans queue under the twin domes that give the Wonderers their nickname - The Boobies!

The purple-panted-people-pleaser himself arrives in typical style, the new Chairman, Sir Arnold Grasp - behind him the new strip floods he has funded to replace the old corner towers.

Sir Arnold pauses to trade pleasantries with the out-going chairman, Jimmy 'Jock' Strap. Sir Arnold's diminutive PR man, Lemuel Bleach, captures the moment.

The Grasp Grail - another proof of Sir Arnold's commitment - and of course Desmond Spanner and the local TV will capture the moment - no harm in mixing business with pleasure.

Let battle commence! This isn't life or death or even seagulls - it's more important than that!

Sir Arnold's first purchase - Dwayne 'I love me, who do you love' Mooney - slices through the opposition

A tense moment as the Boobies' goalie, Joe 'Look,No Hands!' Fumbler, faces a final corner - but the scoreboard above says it all.

A victory roar echoes across the deserted streets as the final whistle confirms Sir Arnold's and the Wonderers' triumph

The arena empties taking with it the crowd's delight in the new chairman and his bank account

Unable to gain entry - the price of tickets is prohibitive for dogs - Dribble the Doberman does what he can to keep up tradition on the limo sent for Sir Arnold's staff



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