Bayko Baron

The Grasp Bunnies

Sir Arnold's Latest Attention Grabber

Built on reclaimed industrial land on the banks of the Chin the Dodger Box is Sir Arnold Grasp's latest venture. Of course the crowd are expecting all his usual razz-ma-tazz on the launch.

 Out back the local skaters arrive to find their favourite car park in use

Meanwhile out front Desdemona Molewrench (formerly Desmond Spanner and inclined to over-do the femme fatale a touch because of it) clutches her mike and moves in on Lady Lavinia Grasp-Chinless, distinctive today in her Grasp-colours stetson. The rest of the journalists wait their turn - while young Lady Isabelle Grasp-Chinless seems to be cloud catching.

Out on the river the Silver Dreams, cheerleaders of the Blue Meanies, are the first to arrive doing their thing atop a trio of fast moving motor launches

A cheer goes up from the crowd - it's always an impressive stunt - but one they have seen before. Besides, the Blue Meanies are from Chipping Chinless and natural enemies of any Nemandible Parva team.

And, of course, The Graspettes never disappoint. They give the Silver Dreams time to start their routine then make an entrance - each riding their own DBP (Dirigible Balloon Platform) the canopy replaced by a small magnetised performance table so they can dispense with the usual safety harness.   

Yes, that's Tara facing the wrong way, again! It's the boots, once the magnets lock it's almost impossible to get your feet free!

The trio swing in formation heading into the stadium

Appetites suitably whetted the crowd hurry after, only the ticket turnstiles slowing them down

The DBPs sink onto the court, Lady Lavinia is there to greet them, then it's time for their routine as the media come at the run with the audience piling in behind.

With the pitch clear, the stands full and the teams on the ready line there's only one thing missing - and here he comes now, the 'purple-panted-people-pleaser' himself - Sir Arnold Grasp in his own personal DBP with Binky Twinge at the helm

The Ref, the crowd and the opposition stand by while the GB's and Graspettes crowd round for some last minute encouragement from their patron

And finally, the teams take position on the ready line - and still the GB's are playing to the crowd 

Ethel Mudd, the Blue Meanies Captain, marks her target, Dierdre Widget draws back to launch while Doris Smiff is already letting fly

Downfield Honychile Longshanks offers a sulky Vesper Dream first bung of the eggy thing, while Petulengra Lush is still running for the throw line, and Penelope Throb hasn't even realised the game is on yet!

But didn't we know just how it would go?

A languid swing of the hip and the ball misses Penny by a hair, while Vesper leans stylishly aside, and Petula ducks.

Sam retaliates and Honey makes a gesture of triumph.

And down the other end it's all angry resentment and confusion as Widget and Smiff go down.

The rest, as they say, is history. The Blue Meanies are pushed out of shot while the GB's continue to pout and pose and Honeychile wiggles her tail for the cameras - but now we know, all that strut is no substitute for talent, it's the proof!

Inside the crowd roars its final applause and waits to see if the DBPs are coming back, while outside the skaters make the most of the lack of traffic

And when the Grasp Bunnies are away the Dodger Box is also home to the local Glice Hockey Team - The Nemandible Ninjas - who, despite adopting the Grasp Silver and Gold have not yet been taken up by Sir Arnold.

The Chinless Cherokees meet another determined attempt to level the score. Eager to perform the usual offices Dribble the Doberman - lost his paws and did a Bambi slide into the Ninja net taking the puck with him - thus scoring a goal for the Cherokees. 

Rejected and ejected the hapless hound consoles himself with Fred Sludge, Waste Management Operative, who has been taking the opportunity to inspect the local outflow while the street is sealed off for the game.

And, every once in a while - when the hockey is out of season, the skaters get inside, at least some of them. Lady Lavinia supports the local Roller Derby girls.

That's Richenda Moon, leader of 'The Triplettes' (Lady Lavinia's Ladies) slicing through the Chinless Chicks.

... And when there's no sport... Lady Lavinia can always get Kliff Kwartz and the PebbleDashers, the 'Scarlet Ballladeer', to put on a gig. Looks like young Isabelle has also become something of a fan.

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